personal thoughts

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Do you know why it never worked back then? Why, despite all your sincerest efforts and feelings, you never had the chance? It’s not because she didn’t like you, or she never noticed you, it’s because you never noticed her—the real her. You were so deeply, madly, and truly in love with this idea of her you came up with, that you forgot to be in love with who she really was. Your love was unquestionable, but who were you really in love with? Certainly not with her.
Aug 28, 2014
To improve ourselves is different to changing ourselves.
Jul 11, 2014

“Imagine this”, you said it the first time. A whole world wide web between us where literally every imagination concocted have already been brought to life and somehow you think you can still do better, like your mind has a whole new universe to offer and unexpectedly, I was glad you shared your universe-of-a mind even for a fleeting moment, right before an unexpected pitch black swallowed our connection. I imagined that’s the end of it.

Imagine this! The after-midnight effect; for some inexplicable way, the universe—the moon, the stars and possibly the entire heavenly body—must have conspired that night for us to find each other once more. ‘Unintentionally’ it was for you but ‘Magically/Tragically’ beautiful it was for me. A mere coincidence perhaps but the after-midnight clouded me to think deeper; assume that there’s more to this than it should have been just ‘that’.

Imagine this; two words that have slowly started to bring both our walls down but the second time around, that best encounter from the first time continued its magic; the playful and witty words about the sensible and insensible’ of the world made a surprisingly beautiful yet more tragic turn to our personal lives; the shared secrets, ridiculous laughter, the unseen yet alluring smiles and the read-between-the-lines moments are the evident truth of a ‘something’ between the two of us.

Imagine this: A magician with the realest magic and a writer with the astonishing fiction-for-a-truth meet and speak. The magician shared visions of deep and hilarious wonders as the writer falls for the real magic that not a lot can experience on a daily basis and the ordinary writer tells an original tale as the magician starts to see the writer as nothing less than extraordinary. The magician and the writer, inside a shared imaginarium, both are after-midnight drunk; one of them is lying but both of them feel the honesty. The magician and the writer have met but it has to come to an end, as the writer finally decided to stop trying to write a truth.

Imagine this, I thought. Imagine what if all of this is true; the bits and shreds of truth, even if the truth is plentiful, none can make this entire night any truthful at all. A mere wishful thinking, pointless and hurtful but I had to try. Even with the bitch-of-a truth, I had to try—wish, find, plea—for a chance to wake up with this as my new reality but alas! The magic cannot be real for the writer.

“Imagine this. I finally get it”, you said. “I’m poetic”, I replied. And so I thanked you for the magic as you thanked me for the story with the slight hope of meeting again but little did you know, I’m closing the door between us for good because you deserve nothing less than the truth and the truth is I was only a fiction that night, only to make your night interesting as you wanted. It was unintentional but I’m halfheartedly glad about it and I know you were wholeheartedly glad on that other end but please, please, please put my book down and I can only hope that you stop reading my words soon enough. They’re no good for a real magician.

“That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day.” says Arctic Monkeys. That could not have been more true that night for the magician and the writer.

AImagine This
Jul 4, 2014
Those who are drunk in power aren’t actually as powerful as they seem.
Jun 29, 2014 / 3 notes
It will get better. I don’t know what you’re feeling or what you went through but I’ve learned that things always get better, not just through time but in also choosing to make things better and doing what we can to move us forward.
Jun 28, 2014 / 6 notes
A wolf can wear all the fleece he wants but he’ll never be the lamb; Fangs and claws, blood lust and hunger but it’s his howl that will be his biggest tell, he can never hide himself from the beckoning of the moon.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 13, 2014

May Or May Not Be

You can risk your neck, wear your heart on a sleeve, live your life on the edge and so many more clichés about taking risks in life, sometimes you’ll still end up on the short end of the stick or still be kept waiting. 

There’s really nothing you can do to make sure you’re 100% locked in on your dreams. Life isn’t boring to have surefire secrets to dreams or happiness.

Am I saying life sucks? yes, routinely and no, surprisingly. Am I saying there’s nothing we can do to be absolutely sure of our dreams? yes, none. So should we give up? No because there’s always a chance, it won’t be in vain and I think it’s better if we’re at least able to give out our best. 

I’ve never really appreciated or believed in the whole it’s the-journey-not-the-destination thing, but I think I get it now. At least in my own comprehension of it now. I can spend my time obsessing and preparing myself for my goals and dreams but even with all those efforts, the chances of failing, by some intervening variables, are just as much as my chance of success. I can avoid the regrets by really doing my best for it, but now I realized I can’t keep thinking straight-and-steady or eyes on the prize. If I don’t look sideways, or stop  every now and then, I’ll regret missing out on a lot of things and even with success, I’ll still find myself wondering what if I did some things differently.

I need to be strong, I need to be weak, I need to be happy, sad and whatever. I need to, at some point, come across and experience different emotions in order to live more differently and more about how I want to than how I should.

The next day or whenever I may or may not still be on the downside of my road to success, but at least I’ll be able to say, I lived a lot

It crossed my mind once, I never entertained it but now I think you really are my wonderwall.
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 / 11 notes

Alex Feels Inspired: Maleficent

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Directed by: Robert Stromberg from Linda Woolverton’s screenplay

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Sharlto Copley, and Elle Fanning 

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of the GIFS or images posted in this blog post)

(SPOILER ALERT)

Maleficent (2014) is a re-imagined fantasy film of Walt Disney’s Sleeping Beauty in the antagonist’s perspective of the iconic Disney Villainess, Maleficent, portrayed by Angelina Jolie. The film is about the untold story or truth of the entire fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty, with focus on the mistress of darkness, Maleficent.

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The dark fantasy film displayed an alternate truth to the classic tale of Sleeping Beauty. The story is about her past when she was a young faerie that soars the sky with her powerful wings, she met the young Stefan, who back then, still dreams of just entering the castle, a human kingdom bordered by the magical realm called Moors, where Maleficent and the other magical creature lives. Growing up, the two became unlikely friends, and even a lover at some point. An innocence about true love, a man consumed by greed for power, both have led to the beloved fairy tale’s famous sleeping curse cast upon princess Aurora (played by Elle Fanning), daughter of king Stefan. Maleficent is a film about how and why the wickedness was born within the once magnificent faerie. A story of a bitter ex, and what she could do if she has the power to take revenge, and it just so happens, she’s a powerful faerie.

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Garnering a lot of mixed reviews from critics, the movie Maleficent, is still a must-watch film in my opinion, despite how some might argue that it did not live up to expectations of being a dark fantasy, filled with Maleficent’s chaotic power. The film had more lighter and heart warming scenes than the people have expected. Personally, I find that predictable. It is after all, a Disney film so a plot twist and heart-touching scenes should have been expected and quite frankly, I think it would have been more disappointing if it followed the classic tale, where Maleficent remains the villain through and through.

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I like how Disney gave an alternate story of light and heroism to an infamous villain. To me, that wasn’t a let down but a breakthrough from their usual films. I especially loved the part that Angelina’s own daughter, Vivenne Jolie-Pitt, played in the film as well as Aurora when she was still very little. I have to say, that had the most Disney magic in the entire film.

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I don’t know if some people actually thought that Maleficent’s reasons for wanting revenge is petty, but if in case some do (or you do as well) I would beg to differ. Her wings, something she values the most about herself, were clipped and stolen by the man she loved, and finding out that it was all because of his ambition for power, is truly a devastating knowledge to know. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting revenge especially if they have the means to do it. In this case, her magic.

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I also applaud Disney for once again, making true love different from love (or admiration) at first sight. Following the path of the acclaimed great plot twist from Frozen, true love in Maleficent manifested in the form of parental-like love since Maleficent herself, practically raised Aurora. I’m glad that Disney is starting to move on from true love within half an hour to true love tested by time and effort. And that it doesn’t just come from a dashing prince who was bewildered by a princess’s beauty and grace. True love is expressed in more than just one form and that it certainly doesn’t just happen in one day of meeting by chance. Maleficent has proven her true love for Aurora when she has seen the light once again as a faerie through Aurora, she tried her best to revoked the curse and when Aurora found out the truth and hated her, she did not give up and instead she risked her life to break her own curse. True love means being loved truly by someone. It didn’t matter if Aurora also felt the same since she hated Maleficent when she found out the truth. 

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While I find the movie truly a delight and insightful to watch for a Disney film, I am not without at least a question about it. I think Maleficent accidentally set herself to fail when she cast her curse. Now I understood that Maleficent fell in love with Aurora because she practically raised her and that broke her curse, but wasn’t she under her own spell at that time? For those who have seen the film as well, you’ll remember that she allowed the first blessings cast upon Aurora to remain; beauty and grace and to be loved by everyone around her. And when Maleficent was casting the curse she mentioned that it’d be unbreakable by no power until it is fulfilled, and when she tried to revoke the curse herself later on, she couldn’t do it. It proves that the curse is unbreakable and powerful; Powerful enough to influence even her, being around Aurora so much, she learned to love her as well. Of course some would argue that Maleficent’s love for Aurora was because she was a loving faerie before she was tainted by betrayal, and that Aurora was simply the girl who reminded her of that but in my opinion, I think it’s her own magic that failed her but I guess we can leave this matter as open to interpretation.

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Moral lesson? Don’t curse anyone when you’re mad. And if you’re going to do it, watch your words.

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Over-all, I find the movie impressively written and filmed. If you haven’t seen the film, I recommend that you watch it as soon as you can when you’re free. And yes, I am biased to say that it’s because Angelina Jolie played Maleficent and that she is gorgeous. To be honest, I think some of the scenes were more for showing Jolie’s modelesque beauty than to help explain the story. Either way, they were pleasing to the eyes.

Any thoughts? Let me know what you think about the movie as well by dropping a message here.

Love is a risk. You can either bet on happiness or do nothing and regret what could have been.
May 24, 2014 / 3 notes