It’s been a while since I last made a recommended blog post. And no, it’s not because I’ve been very lazy this summer…well partly yes, but that’s only because I haven’t been inspired as much I was when I made the other recommended blog posts, plus the other part is because we’ve been busy doing shoots for Nameless MNL (segue, like our page on Facebook). But the wait is over, assuming that some of you have waited or probably have forgotten the fact that I make this kind of posts. Anyway, I have found another source of inspiration and as a shutterbug, this blog is garden of sweet inspiration. 

The photography blog I’m currently very into is…Amamak Photography!

(Source: amamakphoto)

A dynamic duo of Ama (Aviva Artzy) the model and Mak (Michelle Karpman) the photographer. You probably already know them because they are a popular duo from here and other social media platforms, I’ll get to those later.

About them, as stated in their blog: Ama is 

“an art geek who loves drawing, Tumblr, Miyazaki, Chrono Trigger and Community.”

And Mak is

“a university student who loves Polaroid, ’90s music, chocolate, Vonnegut, and everything Joss Whedon.” 

Now, the amazing thing about this duo is that I think their photographs come with a certain sense of personal familiarity. They emit a nostalgic “feel” that makes you daydream about some part of your life that you miss or may have long forgotten. More often than not, that’s how I usually feel when looking at their work. And as an art enthusiast and aspiring artist, that’s a good load of inspiration. And I think everyone will benefit from getting that feeling. Whether you like photographs or not, somehow it will be an inspiration of some sort. A beautiful nostalgia. 

To show you what I mean, and I sincerely hope you get the same feeling, here are a few of their photos that really hit the rewind button on my memories:

(Source: amamakphoto)

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Has society died? Has it been so fucked up that dreams have become exclusive to fiction and to those who seemingly lives a fictionally perfect life? If that’s the case, where am I heading?

The harsh reality of life has dawned on me before but I guess becoming aware of it isn’t exactly enough to withstand the impact of it now. People sacrificed to get by, our parents did. And I really appreciate that fact, but does that mean we’re supposed to sacrifice our own dreams for a dead-end job like most parents did to get us by? We were to told to dream once, but now that we’ve grown up, are we just supposed to survive and not live?

I’m beginning to think that there’ll never be an end to this cycle of sacrifice. A vicious circle.  And that we’re only told to dream when they know we couldn’t take the reality just yet. I understand that no one knows where things are heading, and that they’re just trying to be positive but unwittingly, people have been leading life like that.

A dead-end job. I still want to hope. It seems to insignificant right now, but I still wanna do it for reasons I’m not entirely certain of. I’m not certain if its an act of bravery for trying to break free from the vicious circle, or an act of a coward, fearing to face and accept the sacrifices.

Previously on Alex: While being an incredibly busy student for a school he never liked, Alex got himself on yet another possible controversy before his college life ends. What was he thinking? 

Clearly I wasn’t thinking, and yes my life is becoming more and more like a TV series with no apparent morale story to share because I’ve been screwing it up real good and on this season finale, it’s because I decided to be honest.  That barely works in real life, so I have no idea why I even did that. Well the details of it is in my 8000th post. Actually, telling the truth to them was relieving, healthy I guess. But like I told them, there was no way to put it but offensively. At least I think I manage to minimize the damage but that doesn’t erase the pain my truth bears for them and right now, I’m not sure if they’re taking it well. Up front they did say, it was hurtful but they’re thankful that I finally told them about it and that it was relieving for them too at some ways but lately, indirectly (or I think I’m just being paranoid) they’re becoming cold. Although who wouldn’t? I mean if you were in their position, you would probably hate my guts too. And I can only be thankful that they’re very understanding about it, but I guess being cold can’t be helped after that, and the worst part is I think it’s becoming viral. I hope not but it feels like it. (fingers crossed, I’m being paranoid.)

I feel really uneasy these days but it’s the price for holding and denying it for so long.

A year or two ago, I said I was gonna graduate with a bang, at first I thought it was the unexpected special academic award, but I was wrong in so many levels. This is that bang, the probability of becoming the most hated person in my school.

I’m wondering how my life after school is gonna turn out? Hopefully better but I think it’ll only get worse.

While this is truly a minuscule of an achievement for a vague reason, I still decided to make my 8000th post something that is still possibly worth the time and effort to read.

The paradox that is me, yes, I’m filled with clashing inconsistencies and invalid arguments if you ever try to compile and inspect them but you see, I’m a person who lives in the “now”, the occasional realizations I made were simply yet still significantly, a spur of the moment. But they are as true they can be from the moment I’ve thought of them and although they may seem to clash with my other previous realizations and life lessons, the truth behind this is that they do not clash but rather they change to fit my situation. I’m not a person who stands steadily in one place, I’m a person who moves forward and changes if the circumstances beg me so.

And now I have made another possible paradox of a realization but in a sense, my most rational one yet. My indifference and negligence to my new friends have come to light. And as cliche as this sound, the whole “It’s not you, it’s me.” defines the situation but in my case the “you” is “them”. 

Honestly, if I were to compare them objectively to my old friends using the acceptable norms in terms of morality as a basis, they are the better ones without implying my old friends are the bad ones because they are good, just not the better ones in an objective manner, but if I were to use my personal relationship to them as the basis, the standing would be reversed.  Truly and objectively, they have the better qualities as a group but I just simply do not jive with them as much as I jive my old friends. And tonight, I was able to pinpoint a crucial reason. And that is because  they’ve been trying to alter my leisure time to a simpler manner of chatting and mindless drinking with their cheap taste of music, fashion and entertainment backed by the overused idea that is “It’s who you’re with that counts.”. And while I do agree with this, I believe that it’s just one part on feeling joy with the company, because if you’re doing almost everything you  dislike, how in the world will you enjoy anything? The thought of you’re with good friends even with the title of “bestest friends”, is still not enough to get you truly laughing and feeling that personal joy within you. 

I was born on the luxury of enjoying the finer things brought by my old friends and I have never considered this as something I should change because more than a privilege, it served as a motivation for me to work harder to sustain my luxury of these. It didn’t make me weak because it prevented me from giving up. I aspire and persevere because of this trait of mine. Not settling for cheap laughter and careless drinking, I pursue my passion for dancing to achieve more while enjoying. Not settling for taking pictures with no effort to make it look more memorable and desirable, I pursue my passion for photography and it’s really starting to take off thanks to my old friends.

Do not get me wrong, I do love the simple laughs and fun every now and then, but the problem I found is that my new friends seem to have settled for it for good. I have tried a lot of times to spark some change on them, but only one of them is actually interested to go for a change sometimes but most of them are satisfied with again, the company they are with. And as much as I would like to think how they have achieved happiness through this satisfaction of the simpler things, the reality is that it’s not me at all. I’m too diverse to stay put and I believe happiness is a personal satisfaction, and mine is not bound to anyone. Maybe they share the same personal satisfaction that led them to their happiness, but for me it’s different. My personal satisfaction is not bound to my company. Though they contribute to gaining it but not enough for me to say that I’m happy. The activity matters a lot. Not just the company.

Maybe it’s time that I speak to them about this, how I fake laugh sometimes just so I can jive with them, how I make excuses sometimes because I’m getting tired of their silly activities that I barely enjoy. I’m thinking of letting them read this, but I seriously doubt their capability to comprehend this to it’s near meaning. I’ll have to think this through and through I guess. 

At some point, somehow the friendship was true to it’s extent. 

Earlier tonight, while Nico doesn’t seem like the wise person you should ever turn to, I learned something from him even though I know he never would have intended to be that wise but luck made it possible for me to realize something. 

I should make up for the lost times, I acted dumb.

I won’t deny that I didn’t know how it came to this because I knew exactly what I did that got us in this situation. I knew it’ll head to this because I got tired. But I also can’t deny the fact that I’ve overreacted, I overlook some things that I should have considered before jumping to the decision. It was a decisive yet faulty decision. 

So now, before finishing college, I’d like to put an end to this cold and indifferent war, at least I want to give it a shot, for a peace of mind and for old times’ sake. I don’t know if it’s the graduation season but what I’m certain of is that I need this.

I just wish this turns out for the best. 

Four years of studying Bachelor of Science major in Psychology, with consistent above average performance in all its major subjects, consistent participation to the very student body that runs the Psychology society of our course yet still, my interest on the course have not increased as significantly as it should have.

What the hell is next for me then? 

I have asked myself this question many times now since the day I stepped in our school as a graduating students and until today, I still don’t know the answer to it. You would think that after so many active participation and effort I would have learned to love my supposedly future profession by now as most students do at this par but no, I just had to be so darn difficult that even I find myself too much to handle. Although I understood the very concept of individual difference, still why couldn’t I at least be a little more like most people in cases like this?

Why did I have to complicate my life?

I actually know the answer to that and I’m also certain that you too asks the same question to yourselves, and though possibly unwittingly, you know the answer as well. 

As for mine, I complicate my life because no matter how much I try to deny it, I long for great adventures and plot twists, I long for anything to spice my supposedly dull and tasteless life. That is how I’ve always been, and that’s probably how always been too. Otherwise,

why else would you still read this far?

The blame is all on me. I couldn’t possibly pass the bucket to anyone why I couldn’t decide what’s next. Passion or profession, those always clash, don’t they? The passion is often and naturally what fuels you to continue hoping, dreaming and striving and yet at the back of your logical mind, you know how impossible it may seem whilst profession on the other hand, offers a more well-lit future ahead, something with greater probability that any wise person as they say, would take but,

How do you choose between the two? 

When the thoughts battles in your mind, do you choose what will make your life better or do you choose what you wish to strive for? Do you choose what you think is right or what you feel is right?

Any thoughts?

Last year, CIHM conquered us but this year we took the throne back. 

This is, by far, my most memorable performance ever despite the number of almost-slipping in the stage. Honestly, it wasn’t because we won that made it memorable, it’s because it was the first time I danced in front of crowd, echoing with cheers, yet still feeling hype and high. It was an unbelievable experience. Winning was just a bonus on top of a treasure. 

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day. February 28, 2013. The day I went hype and high. It’s definitely a good highlight before graduation. 

Go High! 

This is it. Today’s the day of this year’s U-week dance competition. Our training’s over and at 4:00 pm, the battle starts.

This year’s dance competition’s theme is a Nicki Minaj inspired. From costumes to musicality, it has to be Nicki Minaj inspired. Each department draws a Nicki Minaj song randomly and we got Pound The Alarm. Not our first choice, or our second and third but thanks to Kuya Zac we managed to hit it. I’m still to tired to blog properly  but I figured I need to do this. I haven’t been able to express my thoughts here lately.

Whatever happens, we’ll give our best shot.